woolandflax:

woolandflax:

woolandflax:

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

modogoblin:

entryn17:

i love logging in from a new device and receiving an email about it makes me feel like i’m trying to enter some vip fancy building and when they stop me at security i go “actually… I Own The Place”

tyonfs:

avvocarlo:

doing the marge simpson impression so hard that I throw up

vernadskova:

i bet cavemen were doing some pentatonix acapella shit all the time

fallingtowers:

gun is a beautiful mother animal and it gives birth to baby bullets who are so fast and small and strong

eliteknightcats:

ginkovskij:

i will raise my children traditionally

the oldest will have a ruinous military career and develop a tendency to recklessness, alcoholism and anger management issues
the middle one will be a brilliant student with strong atheist inclinations and casual demonic hallucinations
the youngest will be an angel prone to hysteria turned tsaricide by circumstances

is this about malcolm in the middle

catmask:

roseofthevolturi:

catmask:

i tried to tell my boyfriend he looked hot by saying ‘watch out hes a ladykiller’ and he got sad voice made a frownie face and said 'i dont do that i dont kill ladies’

Are you dating Shoto by chance?

Originally posted by todoroki-doki

im dating a 25 year old real life man

nayohme:

this tweet was so ahead of its time